Julia Pegram

On Tuesday, September 12, 1939 a stork brought her and on Monday, April 20, 2020 an angel escorted her away. Bittersweetly, I share with you that the strongest woman who I have ever known – my beloved mother Julia (often called ‘Julie’ but affectionately known as “Faye”) Pegram – finally achieved her ultimate goal of eternal life in Heaven after fulfilling a noteworthy span of time here on Earth. Despite enduring life-altering and overwhelming health challenges for almost two decades, dodging death on numerous occasions, and seemingly having more lives in her than even the luckiest cat, I am humbled to know that my mother – Julie “Faye” Pegram – not only touched countless lives in some way or another, but as her most passionate advocate and intensely protective human Pit bull of a son, it’s an honor to share her story. Losing any loved one often leaves a void in the hearts of those left behind, but losing your “mother” means losing the irreplaceable person who carried you for nine months, sacrificed opportunities (both known and unknown) to help bring you into existence, and helped to raise you. A feat no one else can proclaim or relate to except another committed mother. Who would’ve ever thought that this former one-time model who despite being a relatively quiet person would grow to become a real life Wonder Woman in spite of her share of life’s occasional challenges…none more cumbersome than being a single mother. Yet, she accomplished that and she did it well! Don’t get it wrong, while she didn’t always do things in a way that other people agreed with, my indomitable spirited and stubborn-natured mother had an uncanny way of making family and friends adore her no matter what. And, even during my phase of life as the typical hardheaded teenager, I grew to understand the important, unconventional lessons of her seemingly odd way of thinking and living life, at times, on her terms. One such example later in her life occurred just a few years after she began grueling kidney dialysis treatments three times every week of every month. Faye secretly made a voluntary decision to have her name removed from the list of potential candidate’s for a transplant. Upon learning about her decision, her selfless response was, “I’m an older woman now, why not allow someone half my age or younger to have better odds of another chance in life?” She overcame far greater obstacles than most people ever have, endured far more arduous tests of faith (and passed) than most human beings ever could, and was and will always be my greatest inspiration of what it means to not only see “God use one humble soul to touch countless other people’s lives,” which is a seldom practiced belief known today as altruism. Faye also epitomized what it means to live your best life (without complaining or being mad at God) despite whatever intimidating circumstances you are forced to face. One of my fondest lessons from this remarkable woman was her belief that some people’s personalities are like sandpaper, while others are like jagged stones. Sandpaper comes in different grades (Grit) of textures: Coarse, Medium, Fine, Very Fine, Extra Fine, and Super Fine. Sanding with progressively finer grits removes the jagged edges and scratches left by the previous paper and eventually leaves a smooth finish. She understood far better than most that even people with the hardest or roughest surface (personality) can eventually be smoothed down to a beautiful polished stone if you continually apply varying degrees of meaningful conversation(s), love and compassion (i.e., sandpaper). Embracing that philosophy blended well with her deeply spiritual belief that everyone should treat others the same way they want or expect to be treated – (despite cultural, religious, ethnic, socioeconomic or other trivial differences) – because we ALL bleed the same color red. True lessons to live by for anyone. Besides, very few people can say with honesty and accuracy that their mother (or any other member of their family for that matter) NEVER had an enemy and/or NEVER became someone else’s enemy in their lifetime. Faye’s final footprint upon this world was her desire to see a forthcoming heartfelt concept she conceived, and asked her son (Santura) to serve as her spokesman of sorts, come into fruition. Concerned about the increasing number of senior citizens who reside in nursing homes and senior care facilities who have few (if any) visitors on a regular basis, and aware of children growing up in foster homes, Faye’s desire was to bring both senior residents living in those type of facilities together with children from the foster home setting for engaging monthly or bi-weekly activities. The ‘Big Bear – Little Bear Program’ is a project which will be launched in her memory. Faye has gone on to reunite with her father (William C.) and mother (Louise) Pegram; grandson & little buddie (Santino); sisters, nieces and other family members. She leaves to bask in her memory and complete her vision, her doting yet protective son & big buddie (Santura ‘Sandy’ A. Pegram); best sister in the world & co-pilot (Betty Dollison) and supportive brother-in-law (Ken Dollison), as well as other family members, lifelong best friend-kindred spirit (Diane Monroe-Patrick of Illinois) and a small but strong cluster of other significant people. Funeral service is private. Interment at the Historic Glendale Cemetery. To those who had the opportunity to befriend Julia ‘Faye’ Pegram, I humbly thank you for playing whatever role you played in the life of my incredible mother during what has undoubtedly been among the most heart-wrenching phases of any person’s life. Please continue to make a difference in the world at every opportunity you’re given to do so by using your platform to do something meaningful and impactful not for someone who owes you something, but instead for a stranger. Never cease to advocate for “older people” (by the way, they HATE to be called “elderly”) and other people who are less fortunate, and know that just as sure as my mother has now gained her wings, the sky has gained another star, so I ask her spirit to serve as yet another positive force to help protect you and those you cherish most in your life going forward. My personal message to my mother: You and I never approved of saying ‘goodbye’ to each other at the end of a phone conversation or time spent together. Instead, we would typically say, “talk to you later.” In that same manner, this is not a goodbye moment for us, but merely a “talk to you later” occasion for another time to be decided by God. Until then, enjoy your rest! * Yo siempre te amare y gracias por permitirme ser una pieza principal en tu vida. * Je t’aimerai toujours et je remercie de m’avoir permis d’etre la piece maitresse de ta vie. * and…in any other language that can be translated: “I will ALWAYS love you and thank you for allowing me to be the centerpiece of your life.”